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a board member or a thing. When confronted by Dan,Pandora Charms, Charlie used a cater waiter as a human defend to make sure that she and her bottle of vodka would dwell on to generate havoc in other places at the get together. In the meantime, Serena was becoming upbraided by Headmistress Queller about her incapacity to escape the orbit of new York Metropolis, and after that by two random high-schoolers for her incapacity to beat Blair Waldorf at…life. Yep, Blair’s marrying a prince and Serena’s getting ready to register for psych 201 at Columbia. Blair does win, despite her nagging Serena inferiority complex.In order to finish winning, though, someone had to get Blair out of the grasp of Russell Thorpe, which was probably a lot easier than it should have been. It was like Gossip Girl‘s writers got bored with wrapping up that storyline halfway through and merely decided that Nate, Chuck and Raina would rescue Blair from Raina’s drunk daddy with nary a hitch, despite the fact that he was intoxicated and wielding a lighter in a building with a noticeable gas leak. And after that, inexplicably, Blair and Chuck crashed a bar mitzvah, wrote the kid a big check after which you can hooked up for one final (oh, who am I kidding, it’ll happen again) time in the next room. That sounds like I made it up, doesn’t it? I don’t know why they chose a bar mitzvah instead of,?Pandora UK, say, a dive bar if they wanted to be anonymous, but then again, I don’t understand half of the choices this show makes.The entire resolution to Blair’s stint with Russell Thorpe was all just a little bit too neat and tidy for my taste, and definitely a waste of all the drama that had been built up. Chuck just…runs in and saves her? And the police follow closely behind? And afterwards they go to a bar mitzvah? Couldn’t Russell have pushed Blair out of the window, only for her to be saved by bouncing off of a fortuitously placed awning or anything?Speaking of window-related almost-death, the remainder of the Scooby gang had reconvened with the Constance celebration to check and make sure that none of them still had any idea where Charlie was. Yep, they were all still clueless! While Georgina threw out some tried-and-true scheme ideas to find her, the rest of the group received a melodramatic goodbye text from Charlie that prompted them to split up to search for her. Serena, naturally, was the one who found her. Well, that’s not entirely accurate. Georgina found her first and told her which window to jump out off. Always there to help, that Georgina.On an aesthetic level, the image of Charlie in Serena’s gold dress against the New york night sky was a nice one, and I’m generally ok with fictional characters killing themselves off so long as they do it artfully. Charlie didn’t jump to her death, though. Obviously. Instead, Serena and Charlie stood around and argued about whether it not it sucks to be Serena van der Woodsen, and even though it objectively does not suck at all, Serena seemed convinced of it. I’m Team Charlie on this one, even though
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